Monday, September 24, 2007

Burning Man 2007: Day & Night / How to Enjoy the Playa at Home.

From the top of the Steampunk Treehouse

Seriously...this is so true, it's scary and I think gives a great idea to people who have never been. I laughed harder than I have in forever. The first one is by far my favorite. I do have to disagree with the last 10 or so words of this list tho. ;)

  • Stack all your fans in one corner of your living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.

  • Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for five hours.

  • Pitch your tent next to a wall of speakers in a crowded, noisy nightclub. Go to sleep.

  • Read "Dhalgren" by Samuel R. Delany. Read "The City Not Long After" by Pat Murphy. Cut off the bindings, throw all the pages up in the air, and shuffle them back together. Reread "The Long City Not After Dhalgren" by Samuel Murphy. Burn it. Read the ashes.

  • Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

  • Pay an escort to not bathe for five days, then cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig, dance close naked, then say they have a lover back home.

  • Sprinkle sand in your food.

  • Tear down your house. Put it in a truck. Drive 10 hours in any direction. Put the house back together. Invite everyone you meet to come over and party. When everyone leaves, follow them back to their homes, drink all their booze, and break things.

  • Lean back in a chair until that point where you're just about to fall over, but you catch yourself at the last moment. Hold that position for 9 hours.

  • Only use the toilet in a house that is at least 3 blocks away. Drain all the water from the toilet. Only flush it every 4 days. Hide all the toilet paper.

  • Visit a restaurant and pay them to let you alternate lying in the walk-in freezer and sitting in the oven.

  • Don't sleep for 5 days. Take a wide variety of mind-altering substances. Pick a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

  • Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.

  • Buy a new pair of favorite shoes. Throw one shoe away.

  • Spend a whole year rummaging through thrift stores for the perfect, most outrageous costume. Forget to pack it.

  • Set up a DJ system downwind of a three alarm fire. Play a short loop of drum-n-bass until the embers are cold.

  • Mail $200 to the Reno casino of your choice.

  • Go to a museum. Find one of Salvador Dali's more disturbing but beautiful paintings. Climb inside it.

  • Spend thousands of dollars on a deeply personal art work. Hide it in a funhouse on the edge of the city. Blow it up.

  • Have a 3 a.m. soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile, and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.

  • Listen to music you hate for 168 hours straight, or until you think you are going to scream. Scream. Realize you'll love the music for the rest of your life.

-Author Unknown


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