Friday, September 07, 2007

Decompressing in the default world.


As the moon rises tonight, I find myself in a different state than 8 days ago. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It's hard to believe when I started my adventure, it was a full eclipsing moon rising over a skeleton of a city. A city full of people experimenting with a unique principle of community. How can 46,000 people coexist on a desert plain pushing the limits of every boundary that can be defined? What moral structure guides the interactions between citizens with multiple interests? Just as much as thousands of creations crawl the inches of city and its surrounding lands, we become collective artists in painting the neighborhoods in which we live. The rules and regulations are loosely defined and we enforce, follow and defy with our own personal interpretation of commitment to the standard. What happens when majority rule decides that boundaries are crossed or common trust is betrayed and what consequences are felt? Can safety be secured in a world where personal interest has to fall behind that of the whole? I have many complaints about the atmosphere created in the temporary world now gone, but just as many things I embraced...preferred...and being back is far harder than I anticipated and I find myself speechless and without commentary on the experience of a lifetime. I am not sure they succeeded this year in accomplishing an acceptable statistic of satisfaction with quality of life across the city, as you cannot find anyone who could not point out many obvious failures, but I can say they try, and it is an attempt at creating a masterpiece far more beautiful than any craft I have seen. I was sure I wouldn't survive, certain it was harder than anything I had ever done and wanted to escape to any enclosed space, but now I sit here and cry and shake and beg for the open air and dust and thumping of bass and a world that loves me exactly how I am and want to be. There, I am a small thing in a big puzzle, and I don't fit everywhere...but I have my place and it is a place tonight I ache for.


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